Buying things second-hand is great, and today you can find literally anything you might need on the global marketplace that is the world wild web. But among all the amazing deals and bargains out there, sometimes people come across items that are almost too surreal to be true. So if you’ve ever wondered what you’d need to pay for a pet lobster, a Star Wars Fighter chassis, or a motorized picnic table – you’ve come to the right place. These are some of the weirdest things people have ever put up on sale on the internet.
That’s actually genius
We’re in no way trying to encourage illegal activities here. But it’s hard not to be impressed by this genius idea. And desperate times do indeed call for desperate measures.
No one in their right mind would mess with a hornets’ nest, and the best part is the person selling this decoy even encourages the buyer to rent it out to their cousins. Great way to help family in need, and get that $30 investment back in no time!
A very 2020 joke
Isn’t it funny how this joke wouldn’t have made any sense just half a year ago? But here we are, in a new reality forever changed by the arrival of Corona. But the best way to get through challenging times is and has always been – with the help of humor.
When bad things happen, finding ways to see the humor in them will make us all feel a little better. These toilet paper seeds for sale definitely helped us smile.
Smells like teen lying
$800 for an obviously fake autograph on a pop rocks figure? Wow, that seller sure has some guts thinking they’ll get away with this. Kurt Cobain himself would be proud of how much rebellious teen spirit this stunt smells like.
Even when the seller is getting called out, they feign ignorance and casually reply Kurt must have signed the figure before his passing. Time machine or not, we almost hope someone bought this just for the great story.
Is this real or a joke? We’re not sure, but the poor dog is definitely not amused. A pet lobster is not something we ever thought we needed, but $50 for such a unique pet is actually not a bad deal, and he does seem to have plenty of personality.
He clearly likes going for walks and eating oranges for dessert, how charming! But who doesn’t like Johnny Cash? That might be a deal breaker for us.
If you want a true challenge
$120 for a pile of shattered glass pieces that used to be a fancy glass table – that’s probably the definition of a bad deal. But, it’s also a pretty great way to poke some fun on the internet, and perhaps inspire someone to take on this near impossible challenge.
We bet a creative person could actually turn this into a really impressive piece of art. But let’s face it, this will never be a glass table again.
Just a few scratches
People can’t seem to get enough of Apple products, and the MacBook Pro is arguably one of the best laptops on the market. But this secondhand one has quite a bit more than just a few “minor blemishes”.
Even though $800 is a lot cheaper than what you have to pay for a new MacBook Pro, ideally you should be able to actually use the laptop you buy. So unless you’re looking for a prop for a modern art project, we recommend saving up to a new one instead.
Taking social distancing too far
We know social distancing is important these days, and can be quite challenging in big cities or other crowded places. But that doesn’t mean we need to take these kinds of drastic measures.
When biking, the speed itself will help you quickly pass any crowds, no need to endanger your fellow human beings by attaching a chainsaw to it. Not to mention, $999 is a ridiculous price to pay for this invention. That being said…is it still available?
The Salvation Army collects money for people in need, and Christmas is definitely the season when many open their hearts and wallets a little extra, which is a beautiful thing. What’s less beautiful is cynical opportunists taking advantage of good-hearted folks, and only pretending to collect money for the needy.
On the other hand, we don’t know the financial situation of whoever ends up buying this bucket. But we would like to think there’s more ethical ways to make an extra buck…
AirPods for giants?
AirPods is the latests hype product in a seemingly never-ending line of hyped Apple inventions. Some have been critical of how expensive they are, but last we checked – they do not cost $9,999,999. These are giant ones though, so that might explain the high price.
Just kidding, we’re very well aware of the fact that this is actually a shower head, and not in fact AirPods fit for a giant. But we definitely appreciate the joke listing.
Coolest pet in town
Unfortunately the jackalope, a hybrid between a jackrabbit and an antelope, does not exist outside of folklore. We say unfortunately, because look how cute this little animal is! Granted, those antlers are pretty sharp, so a regular rabbit might be a wiser pet choice.
If the jackalope alone didn’t convince you this entire listing is a joke, the fact that the seller says the reason for selling is the jackalope “doesn’t get along with my Sasquatch”, should. (Sasquatch is just another name for Bigfoot…).
Who is this guy?
Ok, we have so many questions. First and foremost, why did the Atlantic county SWAT team ram this guy’s door? What did he do? And should whoever replies to this listing be scared to come pick it up?
On the other hand, anyone interested in buying a door ram can probably hold their own. Because last we checked, besides cops only people involved in monkey business would ever be in the market for one anyway…
Invaluable religious relic
Can you really put a price on a religious relic? Most devoted believers of any religion would say no. But Obi Juan Kenobi here is hardly seen as holy in any religion that we know of.
It does however come with a blue lightsaber and a nacho chip bowl. And these “holy” items will supposedly help “take your life into the upper echelons of existence and ascend” closer to whatever higher power you believe in. If that would be true, $1001 is actually a bargain.
At least it’s free!
We’d love to come see this human sized hamster wheel. Not because we want it, but just to get the full story from the owner on how this thing ended up in their house.
This person is clearly so desperate to get rid of it, they’re giving it away for free. But it’s not every day you can get something this unique for free (and definitely not in Brooklyn), so as weird as it is – it could be a great deal for the right person.
The gift for people who already have everything
We all know those people. The annoyingly perfect ones who already have the stylish clothes, the latest gadgets, expensive art, and private yachts…Actually no, we don’t know anyone like that at all. But, we do know those people who are impossibly difficult to buy gifts for, because we’ve known them so long we’ve already bought them everything gift appropriate – twice.
But now the solution is here. On their next birthday, we can simply buy them this one of a kind, beaded curtain made from lighters. Perfect.
Who doesn’t love a ponch?
Everything about this listing is just so tempting. The ponch itself is stylish, the model modeling it looks absolutely thrilled to be wearing this stunning piece of haute couture, and the price is just right.
Actually, who are we kidding. We wouldn’t wear this ponch (whatever that is) even if you paid us the $35. Someone might have spent quite some time to crochet this thing together, but we recommend a few more rounds of practice before trying to sell your creations.
Is that Chuckie’s sister?
There are plenty of different types of silly products you can find sold online. There are things that are way overpriced, there are things homemade, and things that just plain don’t make sense. There’s another forbidden category, however: clearly cursed items. This doll is a prime example.
If it doesn’t give you the creeps, something is probably wrong with you. Maybe $100 is a deal to some doll collector out there, but you’d have to pay us $100 for us to even sit in the same room as this thing.
Remember when you would sit in the grocery cart as a kid and pretend that you were driving a race-car? Some stores even played off of this fantasy by building carts that looked like cars, and they were awesome. But we think this is probably the coolest version yet.
Finally, you can actually DRIVE a grocery store cart! A few things to note, though. This has had $50 stricken off the price, which makes it a huge deal. It’s also version 2.0, meaning it’s been improved. Don’t ask what happened to version 1.0.
Wow, that iPhone looks great!
Despite common belief, most people selling things online are not actually scammers. They’re usually just people looking to get rid of some stuff in their house and make a few bucks along the way. However, something tells us that not all is right in this listing.
We can’t really put our fingers on it, but something just feels a little bit off. Oh, we know, it’s that the iPhone 11 Pro actually retails at $1100 and not $1500! So this is totally a bad deal. Ah, we’re glad we figured that one out.
We don’t want Kevin either
Sometimes it’s not the actual thing being sold that manages to grab our eyes. Instead, it’s often an interestingly written caption like this one. This guy spun quite the yarn on his Craigslist post for a fish tank he was selling.
On one hand, it’s a little more information than was needed. But on the other hand, it’s entertaining enough that we’re sure it got more people interested in buying it. There’s only one problem, though: why would anyone want Kevin after that scathing criticism? We don’t want Kevin any more than you do, dude.
They’re not lying…technically
Another common selling technique that you’ll see on the Internet is stretching the truth a little bit. Sometimes people will say something is in great condition if it’s only in good condition. That’s fair enough, and we can all tell by the photos the item has a scuff or two on it. But this might just take Internet truth stretching to the next level.
Calling it a chair simply wasn’t good enough. Who wants to buy a chair? But a single person couch, on the other hand…that will get you some customers.
Stuck in Vanilla Dome
In addition to selling things on Craigslist, there’s another great function of the site that many people take advantage of: the “want to buy” feature. You can post on Craigslist saying that there’s something that you want to buy or a service you need performed, and often you’ll quickly find someone in your community that’s willing to help you.
Here’s a very wholesome example: someone needing help beating a level in Super Mario World. But seriously dude, if you’re having trouble in Vanilla Dome, don’t come crying back to Craigslist when you’re in the Forest of Illusion.
A great reminder
Have you ever seen a child or a pet locked in a car while their parent goes into a store to buy something? It’s a sad sight, and we definitely do not support it. Here’s an item that will finally help to combat that: reminder tags with just the right amount of rudeness and vulgarity.
We’re a little bit confused about how they work, though. It shows it being put inside the car, which doesn’t make sense. Do you buy them for yourself? Do you buy them for a forgetful friend?
Woah! Yankee with no brim!
We’re all familiar with the infamous “Yankee with no brim” video, right? If not, go look it up really quick and then come back. It’s an incredible film that demonstrates that you don’t need to conform to society’s standards. You say all Yankee hats need brims? How naive.
In celebration of the work of art that is that video, this eBay seller created their own Yankee variations and are selling them for the whole world to enjoy. The funniest part is probably that the only auction with bids is the last one with nothing.
Not a bad price
Sometimes it can be hard to look tough enough for the people that you love. If no one ever rudely comes at you, how can you prove how capable you are of beating up an assailant? Your significant other will be forever questioning your toughness.
Here’s the perfect solution: a guy who will let you beat him up for $250. If you ask us, that’s not a half bad price. He gets some money, you get to look like the tough guy you are. It’s a win-win.
Some points for creativity
You’ve gotta hand it to the people selling things online: they’re creative. Even if they’re asking exorbitant amounts of money for things that totally aren’t worth it, they know how to make 2 and 2 equal 5. Or, in this case, they have their math correct, and they’ve made PS2 and PS3 equal PS5.
We can’t argue with the arithmetic, but we’re not sure that addition translates over to game systems that way. And don’t get us wrong, we appreciate the effort they put in with the duct tape. But still, not what we’re looking for.
Nice picture selection!
When you’re selling something online, having the right photo is everything. You can have the best deal on the planet on an item that everyone is fighting over, but if your photo is bad, good luck.
This person was selling what appears to be a perfectly fine item that has been well described and doesn’t seem to be hugely overpriced. However, they made one fatal mistake. What kind of photo is that! Sure, the truck is in it, but really, it doesn’t take an astute eye to realize it’s not exactly an optimal pic.
Wow, what a deal
If you’ve trolled Facebook Marketplace or Craigslist long enough, you’re no stranger to people selling things for prices that just don’t make any sense on any planet. Ever seen those Pokemon cards that are torn in half and caught on fire, yet still they’re being sold for $300? Yeah, that’s what we’re talking about.
But at least in those auctions the price is somewhat based in reality, as SOME Pokemon cards are worth a lot of money. Water coolers, though? We’re pretty sure there aren’t rare, limited edition water coolers. We’ll pass on this one.
Know your price
There’s a lot of lessons that you need to learn if you want to successfully market your products on the Internet. One of the most important is to know your price. Don’t list things with too cheap a price, but don’t overprice them either. Here is someone selling something that feels, for once, very accurately priced.
We aren’t trying to knock anyone’s creative efforts, but really, the Triforce from the Legend of Zelda isn’t too hard to paint. The least they could’ve done was used a straight-edge to make their triangles straight.
What on earth….
We’ll give it to this person: for a lot of 40,000 DVDs being sold, $15,000 actually feels like a pretty good price. DVDs are definitely on their way out right now, but some people still love them, so you probably could actually turn a profit on this if you played your cards right.
But the question remains: why on earth do they have 40,000 DVDs to sell? And if you could make more money on them, why don’t they? The whole thing is fishy. It’s probably 40,000 copies of Shrek 2 or something.
Zooming off on my doggocycle
If there are two things that are unquestionably cool in this world, it’s dogs and motorcycles. The idea of combining them definitely had us skeptical at first, but now that we see the end result, we can tell that it was a match made in heaven.
While we’re not confident that this dog can handle the weight of the average rider you’d see on the average hog, we can bet that it’s far more loyal than a normal Harley. Plus, it doesn’t even need gas. Just a few strips of bacon and it’s ready to go.
Great invention or horrible idea?
To be honest, we’re kinda split on this one. We can’t tell if this is some genius invention or the worst idea we’ve seen all day. On one hand, there are lots of people that basically work out of their cars and drive around almost all day.
In that case, we can see that needing to pull over and take some notes or eat a meal in their car, and having a tray would help a lot. But the average person would probably just eat cereal with this and then crash and burn. So we’re not sure.
An accurate description, at least
Sometimes when looking through online auctions, you’re bound to find things that just really leave you speechless. That will occasionally (read: not often) be due to you finding an amazing deal, but usually it’s because you find something that is really just beyond words in terms of its sheer bizarreness.
Take these gently used bean “sho”s as a great example. Or the worst example of all time, we guess. We could joke around about these all day, but honestly, our brains feel kinda broken looking at these. Moving on.
Okay, you get an A for effort
Have you ever been sitting at a picnic table and just thought, “Man, I really wish I could be driving this right now.” Yeah, us neither. But that’s because we thought it was a dream that was just too amazing to be true. But we weren’t dreaming big enough.
This seller in Illinois knew that they could go farther than any other picnic table modifier that ever came before them, and they succeeded. We would be terrified to drive this thing, but hey, they did it. We can’t knock the hustle.
A master salesmen
If you want to sell something on the Internet, you’ve gotta be good with your words. Unless you have something that everyone wants that you’re letting go of at an amazing price, you’re going to have to do a little marketplace magic. That’s exactly what is going on here.
This woman is selling her old wedding dress and used a variety of good selling techniques. She highlighted that it was a great dress, utilized some humor, and listed about 1000 ways you could wear the dress. That’s how you do it!
You got that right
Who doesn’t love a good DIY project? Even if you’re not the most excellent craftsman or craftswoman, there’s something incredibly satisfying about creating something with only your two hands.
This Craigslist seller is giving you the excellent opportunity to work on fixing up this old, banged up didgeridoo all by yourself. And on top of that, it’s free! Who wouldn’t go for that? Sure, we’ve seen better didgeridoos in our time, but this one definitely still has some life left in it. A few months of expert woodworking and it should be good to go!
Something’s wrong here
Buying a casket is never fun business. It’s completely morbid no matter what spin you put on it, so it’s best to just do it and get it over with. Doing it online to avoid entering sad stores might seem like a good idea, but you’re bound to come across listings like this in the process.
Something is clearly wrong with this one. They buried someone in it and then took it out and are selling it? Who wants a used coffin?! No one needs a deal this badly.
Frosty, is that you?!
Not all places are blessed with snowfall during the winter. Spots like California, Florida, and Australia pretty much never get snow, and you can bet that Christmas movies make them feel like they’re missing out on winter fun. Those of us who live in heavy snow areas are probably pretty jealous of them, however.
To get a little taste of their winter lifestyle, all you need to do is buy this Aussie snowman! It has that real, authentic, Australian winter feel. Plus, you get a free carrot as a snack later. Seems like a steal to us.
One of a kind
Art is a pretty common thing to find selling online. It can be nice to pick up a few unique pieces to decorate your home, but it can become hard to find treasure while you sort through the overpriced junk that is online. This piece isn’t exactly overpriced, but something about it is just a little weird.
Also does anyone really want or need a hand-drawn picture of Angelina Jolie hanging in their home? Especially if it was made by a stranger? We like the passion, but don’t quit your day job.
You’re in danger!
If you’ve ever sold anything online and met up with someone to make a trade, you know that feeling of dread that accompanies the drive over. “What if they steal it from me? What if they’re a serial killer? Oh no.…”
99% of the time, these meet-ups go perfectly well and the buyers are very nice. But beware of the 1% of people like this. Sure, he tried to play it off, but don’t be sly, guy. We see right through you. Maybe he was trying to intimidate the seller into a better price?
Wow, water! Just what I wanted!
We’ve seen some pretty crazy things being sold online, but this one might just take the cake. First of all, it’s water. Just water. Being sold on the Internet. They do know that sinks exist, right? Second of all, they drank most of it already.
There’s gonna be backwash in there. Yuck. Third of all, they don’t even give you the bottle. What are they gonna do, pour it in your mouth for you? Finally, they claim it’s a great gift. We have to disagree. Imagine unwrapping six ounces of unbottled water for Christmas.
A very unique posting
Okay, we have to come clean. This one seems stupid on paper, but it’s actually kind of awesome. Sure, no one wants to eat or clean out of a toilet, but we don’t really see a problem as long as this thing was properly cleaned. Call us uncultured, but we kinda dig this.
It’s a hilarious idea, and the execution is surprisingly competent. This could be a real hit at parties! Assuming you have the right group of friends, that is. Classy dinner party? Nah. Barbecue after going out with the boys on your dirt bikes? Perfect.
Wow, looks great
Getting the perfect photos for your online listings is really important. People want to know exactly what it is that they’re buying, and words can never really convey the true quality or condition of an item like a picture can.
With that being said, how did this person think this would be a worthy substitute for a real photo of the item? Sure, you can’t take a photo of your phone with your phone. But what about an actual camera? A webcam? Maybe a mirror selfie? A friend’s phone? An iPad? Need we go on?
The Creation of, uh, who knows
The Creation of Adam by Michelangelo is one of the most famous works of art on the planet. Even if you know nothing about it, you’re bound to recognize the iconography of it. It’s been parodied so many times that it’s just become a huge part of pop culture at this point.
So the fact that this seller has no idea what it is that they’re selling is just hilarious. In the end though, maybe this is just poignant art criticism. The Creation of Adam really is just a picture of some hands at the end of the day.
Too much honesty
There’s a fine line between honest and dishonest that you must navigate while selling things online. If you’re too honest about the awful condition your item is in, people won’t wanna buy it. If you’re not honest enough, buyers will return the item and complain about you lying to them. Sometimes it’s unclear just how honest to be.
But in this case, we’re almost positive this person was way too honest. Bringing up the fact that this exact machine has given someone skin cancer before isn’t a great selling point.